Performance In Business

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I have to tell you something that I’m pretty sure a solid number of you are going to disagree with – but if there’s one thing we know to be true about me, I don’t hide my opinions. 🙃And also, I’m very comfortable with them being debated and challenged (the one upside of being chock-full of opinions).

Here goes nothing…

I hate the idea of regrets.

I KNOW. I know. So many of you are shaking your heads right now thinking, “Céline, it’s impossible to live life without regrets! They help us learn, grow and make better decisions” (or whatever version of that is running through your mind right now).

And here’s the thing, fundamentally (and hopefully obviously), I don’t disagree with the point that we learn from our mistakes and they are pivotal to our development as human beings. However, for me, that idea is not the same as the idea of regret.

Let me explain…

When I think about regret, I think about a decision or something we had some control/agency over that we wish we could go back and change.** And that idea of wishing we could go back and change it, because the outcome isn’t what we hoped, is the concept that doesn’t sit well with me – especially because the reason we (usually) want to go back and change it has to do with feeling feelings we don’t like to feel.

I believe we are a product of all the experiences we have had, good, bad, or otherwise. So wanting to go back and change something that we did means we fundamentally want to change something about ourselves. And that is what I have a problem with.

When I look back at my life, I can ramble off a laundry list of decisions I’ve made that were absolutely not the right decisions for me – whether it was because, ultimately, they didn’t align with my values, I was unwilling to consider certain things, I was afraid of something, or I was mad, hurt, or otherwise. There’s not a year that goes by (hell, there are very few months that go by) where I don’t do something that I could look back on and think, “Crap, I wish I could go back and change that.”

Was staying in a soul-sucking, bad culture-fit, corporate job for 11 years a good decision for me? No, it definitely was not. But I have absolutely no regrets about it, as I met some amazing humans that I’m still friends with, it gave me the greatest foundation possible for running a business focused on empowering leadership/people, and designing healthy culture. It also helped me understand myself and what truly matters to me (more than I could have at the time or without it).

Was choosing to quit piano when I was a teenager the best decision for me? No, it definitely was not. I often wish I could play piano the way I used to and read music as easily as I once did. But, I have absolutely no regrets about it because it made me realize how important it is to have a desire to do something, to have a passion about it, and to not allow it to simply become an exercise in perfection where there’s no room for joy. It also gave me a lifelong love of music and sense of rhythm, and I will never be mad about that!

Like most things in life, I have no doubt this is more a matter of nuance than anything else, and is highly dependent on how we define regret. And also, like most things in life, I like to take a bold stance on something and then, ultimately, spend all of my time in the grey anyway.

The reality of life is that each decision, action, or moment has come together to shape us into the leaders we are today. Embracing this perspective means recognizing what we might once have labeled as regrets and things we wish we could change are, in fact, invaluable lessons that have propelled us forward, honed our judgment, and enriched our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. By reframing our past, not as a series of missed opportunities but as a rich foundation for growth and empowerment, we unlock a more compassionate, forward-looking approach to both personal development and leadership.

As we navigate life and leadership, let's remember that the absence of regret is not the absence of mistakes, but the presence of learning, adaptation, and, ultimately, transformation. In the grey areas where we find ourselves most often, there is a profound beauty in recognizing that every step, misstep, and leap of faith has contributed to the complex, capable, and resilient individuals we have become.

** I hope it’s abundantly clear here that I am separating out things that happen to us or we have no control over/are victims of. I am absolutely not including those things in this thought experiment on purpose.

In this episode of Leading Through Crisis, I talk to CEO, author and bass player, Gerald Leonard about performance in business, what he learned from a personal health crisis, and how music (jazz in particular) can inform our leadership.

We get into:

  • The effects of physical constraints on work/life

  • Managing stress and what HeartMath is

  • 3 basics from learning to play music that apply to life/business

  • How small/agile teams are like a jazz quartet

  • This is a fascinating conversation that meanders all over the place and will leave you with more than a few takeaways. Listen in.

Gerald J. Leonard PMP, PfMP, and C-IQ Coach is the Publishing Editor, CEO, and Founder of the Leonard Productivity Intelligence Institute (which offers a unique approach to accomplishing more every day), as well as the CEO of Turnberry Premiere, a strategic project portfolio management and IT governance firm based in Washington, DC.

Gerald is also an Author, TEDx Speaker, management guru, and, importantly, a Bass player. He brings all these traits and skills into his work, presentations, and interviews.

To learn more about Gerald and his work, and to grab some freebies, head to https://geraldjleonard.com/crisis/

Or connect with him on LinkedIn or Facebook (@geraldjleonard).

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Dealing with Workplace Conflict